Irony
by Lancelight
Summary: Sonic, and Tails have been Enslaved, but to who exactly?  May contain possible Lemons in later chapters...  Please review
1. Enslaved

**DISCLAMER**

**All Sonic characters In the following FanFic belong to Sega and Sonic Team, I do not Own Any of the characters featured in the fanfic. (I wish I did)**

**This is my first Fanfic so please review!**

**Enjoy!**

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Everything was right in the world, the birds were flying, the grass was, fairly green, Sonic was asleep, Tails was having breakfast, and knuckles was a drunk bastard.

"BOOM!" Half the house Exploded.

"WHAT THE JUICE!" exclaimed Sonic promptly falling down the stairs in surprise.

"What happened?" Tails said groggily, stumbling out of the kitchen.

"Are you Ok Tails?" Said sonic, mildly concerned.

"Yeah"

"Wait!" Exclaimed Sonic,

"Knuckles!" They both exclaimed loudly.

They ran through the seemingly maze of rubble only to find that the destruction had stopped in an impossibly neat circle around what seemed to be a pillow with red dreadlocks.

"Knuckles are you OK?" Asked Tails.

" Geeet mee anothuuuur Beeeeeeer…" Mumbled a clearly drunk Knuckles.

Sonic struggled to fein interest, only to stop and look through a window that was amazingly still intact.

"I think, this is bad" Said sonic slowly.

A massive battleship was hovering directly in front of the house.

"Do we run?" Said Tails clearly scared.

"I dunno, you think of something for once!" Sonic said, literally handing over both their lives over to the orange fox with two tails.

"Defcon1" Tails said with a wink.

50 Techno songs later Sonic & Tails both woke up, chained in electric chairs.

"Hahahaha!" Eggman laughed in that weird way that he does in the games.

"Oh great" Sonic groaned "In the hands of a madman again."

"Mad genius you idiot!" Eggman said angrily.

"But it doesn't matter, I have you in my clutches and I will not let go!"

Sonic's eyes went wide at this comment. Not because of the thought of what Eggman might do to him, but a twisted fantasy was filling his mind…

"Kill me! just kill me!" Sonic screamed unable to do any damage to himself.

"What?" Question marked Eggman.

"No matter it's gone now" Sonic said suddenly relieved.

Apparently sonic is so fast that he is able to get through thoughts Faster than he can run. Literally.

Eggman shrugged of the fact that a voice had just proclaimed something from thin air, and proceeded to tell Sonic his fate.

"You are now my slaves!" Eggman proclaimed.

"Well, that was unexpected" Tails said sarcastically, announcing he was still in the room.

"Ha! You can't make me do anything Eggman!" Sonic proclaimed proudly.

"No?" Eggman said in a mocking tone "Take a look at you right leg Sonic, you too Tails."

Some kind of mechanical bracelet was attached to Sonic and Tail's ankles, gently pulsating and beeping in a quite annoying tone.

"Ha! you can't frighten me with death!" Sonic said "You've done it so many times that it should be a cliché!"

"Who said it would kill you?" Eggman said ominously "Once this clamp has been attached to you, the only way to make it unclamp is to be a slave to me!"

"OH CRAP!" Sonic said

"Crap!" Tails agreed.

STORY LINE CHANGE

"Okay" Eggman said Talking on a mysterious phone "Okay I'll tell them"

"LOL FPS Lag!" Sonic said laughing along with Tails.

"Alright heres the deal" Eggman said "I can't make you guys my slaves because that would mean a boring story, so I've had to change it to a more suitable deal"

"Wait who told you this?" Sonic said, wondering who could possibly be able to control Eggman.

"The Author" Eggman replied importantly.

"Alright Whatever" Sonic said rolling his eyes.

"I've modded the clamp to wake you up every morning at 6:30" Eggman said.

"6:30!"

"Shut up or i'll make it earlier you prick!" Eggman replied clearly getting ticked off.

"Getting a little pissed isn't he?" Tails whispered.

"Anyway!" Eggman continued "the device will then tell you the name of the character that you have to be a slave to, and unfortunately I can't control that, otherwise…"

"Alright!" Sonic exclaimed unexpectedly.

"What!" Eggman said

"Nothing" Sonic replied "when can we get out of here?"

"Well unfortunately the author told me I can't kidnap, attack, hinder, piss off or even see you unless you come to me, Or else I lose all my superior intelligence for the rest of this fanfic, so I guess you have to leave now." Eggman finished.

"Cool!" Sonic exclaimed as the chains fell of him and Tails.

"So hopefully I won't see you later, and happy new year, I guess" Tails said to Eggman before bolting off into the sunlight after his friend.

"So why were you so happy before sonic?" Tails asked Sonic while they were finding their way home.

"Well picture this, '_slave_' can mean many things when It's said in different content" Sonic said with Yello's song: "Oh Yeah" playing in the background.

"O" Tails realised what sonic was referring to.

"So what was with the Author stuff?" Tails asked

"I don't believe it" Sonic said

"Hmmmmm" Tails thought "I do"

"Really? I mean come on Tails, have you gone nuts?" Sonic turned to his friend.

**Stupid insignificant hedgehog, you better not insult me again or I shall smite you from the land that Sega has created!**

"Wow" Sonic said "Prove you have such powers Mr Author!"

**Fine, If you insist.**

Amy Rose appeared in front of them but not as her usual self. Amy rose was standing naked, as if she was having a shower, her hands in the middle of washing her cleavage. She had defiantly had a breast enlargement. Sonic's jaw fell wide open, and Tails turned respectively away. Amy was sonic's girl through and through. In the meantime Amy had realised that she wasn't at her house anymore, but she had also realised that she was standing in front of sonic. She smiled at him, as if inviting him to bed. As sonic was about to sweep Amy of her feet, she disappeared.

**There you have seen my power, and be lucky at that.**

Sonic looked to the sky and said "Now I believe you"

**And Tails, you are now just as old and mature as sonic.**

"Eh?" Tails said confused "I don't feel any different"

**It doesn't matter, oh and most of the girls love you.**

"Hey!" Sonic said "How come I don't get anything!"

**You did, you got to see Amy.**

"Yeah but only for like 5 seconds!"

**Well? your a fast guy. Maybe you can drag it out next time, but ultimately, it's up to Amy.**

"Alright fine" Sonic said giving up.

"Anyway I think we should go home and sleep" Tails said tiredly

"How did it get so dark anyway Mr Author?"

**Eggman had you there for most of the day trying to make that clamp, Oh and by the way I will only talk to you if I want to not when you ask me to, so don't expect brilliance all the time.**

"Yeah, great" Sonic muttered stopping outside his house.

"Man am I excited about tomorrow"

"Yeah" Tails said "Try to keep your pants on."

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**Lol, please rate and review to tell me how I'm going so far**

**I'll try to upload the next chapter soon, so stay tuned!**


	2. A Vampire Problem

**DISCLAMER**

**All Sonic characters In the following FanFic belong to Sega and Sonic Team, I do not Own Any of the characters featured in the fanfic. (I wish I did)**

**I also don't own Twilight, or addiction.**

**This is my first Fanfic so please review!**

**Enjoy!**

Sonic woke up next morning to an annoying buzzing sound in his head.  
"Wonderful" He said sarcasticly "It's gotten into my head."

A beeping started up from the metal clamp attached to his leg. Sonic had tried to get it off during the night but to no avail. It was part of him now, until he completed the task that had been set to him. Sonic sat up on his bed and looked at the flashing LCD screen on the clamp. Sonic stared at the screen, and accepted that today could go many different ways. The screen read: Cream the Rabbit.

"Morning Sonic" Tails said, making breakfast in the kitchen."I wonder how today could go?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean" Sonic replied with a sigh.

"At least it looks like a good day today" Tails said, also with a sigh.

Suddenly, Sonic sat up bolt upright, like he just got electrocuted. "Last time I checked, Cream was a little girl right?" He said.

"Yeah" Tails replied "What about it?"

"Nothing" Sonic said, stretching out, and relaxing on his chair again "I just have a feeling that the Author is in a playful mood."

"I really don't like where this is going" Tails said cautious and amused at the same time.

Sonic and Tails arrived at Cream's house and was surprised to see that she wasn't there.

"Oh hi Sonic" Cream's mother Vanilla said

"Oh man" Tails said under his breath.

"your'e probably looking for Cream, she moved out a few weeks ago."

"Thanks Vanilla, could you tell us where?" Sonic said, trying to get the conversation over with, but also trying to stay in character.

"Sure" Vanilla answered smiling. While Vanilla was giving Sonic the directions Tails went for a quick lap around the house. He knew how long Vanilla liked to drag out meetings with Sonic. Tails arrived back at the front door just when Sonic was ready to leave.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want some chocolate chip cookies for the journey?" Vanilla asked.

"No thank you" Sonic answered with a grimace, the clamp was burning him "We're in a hurry"

Sonic promptly grabbed tails, and ran off at the speed of sound – Literally.

"-!" Tails screamed like a guy who just got trolled on a server.

"Yeah I know what you mean" Sonic said, running alongside a flying Tails. "It's like Sega set her up to be some kind of eternal punishment for anyone that has to go see Cream."

"By the way, how does everyone know about this whole mess anyway?" Tails asked Sceptical.

**Because I told them.**

The voice of the Author answered them in four simple words. "Well thats all cleared up now isn't it" Tails said Happily, landing and skidding on the ground to stop in front of Cream's new House. Sonic knocked on the door and waited impatiently. He hated standing still for periods of time. The door opened and Sonic and Tails gasped. Sonic was right, the author was in a creative mood. Standing in front of them was Cream, but not some little kid. Cream had grown into a teenager. She was standing in front of them in a black jacket and jeans. Her breasts had grown exponentially.

"Hey Sonic, Hey Tails, come on in!" Cream said happily with a smile on her face. Now Although Sonic may be right about the maturing of Cream, there was also some apparently normal changes that happens to teenage girls in this era. On one side, Sonic thought he was going to get laid, but Cream had other Ideas...

"Okay" Cream started "apparently you guys have to be my slaves for today, but I'm not going to make you guys do anything stupid."

"Oh well that's a relief" Sonic sighed.

"We'll just stay here and watch Twilight!" Screamed Cream happily, running ahead into the living room.

"What was that you were saying?" Tails said sadly, as they walked towards the living room after Cream.

"Oh well, at least she didn't make us dress up or anything." Sonic said with a shrug. Tail's eyes grew wide as he turned the corner earlier than sonic. "You know how you said you thought the Author was in a playful mood?"

"Yep" Sonic answered also turning the corner into the living room.

"I think you were right."

The entire living room was completely refurbished to look like some kind of set from Dracula. Another surprise was Cream herself. She had somehow had enough time to change into some kind of vampiress costume. Sonic found himself being strangely turned on. Tails was just plain surprised. Unfortunately, Cream also had two conveniently extra costumes hanging of one finger.

"Oh man" Sonic complained.

Thirty minutes, Two Vampire coats and a full vampire teeth gluing session later, Sonic and Tails looked like they could fit right in to a vampire horror movie. Which was sort of the point. "You know" Tails said between glued teeth "This isn't too bad"

"Ha, speak for yourself" Sonic said looking in a mirror "I have a reputation to uphold."

"Yeah, yeah"

"Come on you guys I wanna start watching!" Complained Cream from outside the door.

"Great" Sonic said sarcasticly.

Three hours later, Tails was bored out of his brain and decided to take some kind of action. "Hey Cream?"

"Yeah" she replied, her face glued to the screen.

"You know theres no such thing as vampires right?" Cream turned suddenly to face Tails in anger.

"yes there is."

"nope"

"yes there is"

"It's just not possible, teeth just can't..."

As Tails and Cream were arguing about whether vampires existed or not, Sonic was glued to the screen, watching it intently and trying to memorise every second. Unfortunately for Sonic, a buzzer started of on Sonic and Tails' clamps. A tick symbol appeared on the LCD screen. Their day with Cream was over. Tails quickly said his Goodbyes, and flew as fast as he could home to wash his eyeballs. Sonic however asked if he could stay, and he and Cream watched Twilight for the rest of the day.

**The second chapter!  
**

**Keep reading and reviewing, I'll be right back with the next chapter...**


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